Nostalgia is not a longing for what has passed, but for what never passed.
Nostalgia is not a longing for what has passed, but for what never passed.
― Atrona Grizel
The obsession with finding remedies is a sign of a civilization’s end, says Cioran. Yes, I can see this everywhere. Everything becomes either “success” or “failure,” “winning” or “losing,” either a “problem” or a “cure.” Yet whatever happens, nothing is left unjudged without being filtered through these rigid molds, because everyone wants to “perfect” everything. And isn’t the world already a place that is beyond saving precisely because of these “heroic” worms?
― Atrona Grizel
There are perhaps millions of teenagers in this country about whom I am almost astonished that no one has ever stepped forward to slap them in the face even once. Back when my sensitivity to the rot carried by youth had not yet fully settled into my inner world, I used to construct such “revenge fantasies”: a “spiritually superior” person would slap them in front of everyone and thereby “prove” my worth to them. Later, I began simply to watch—but that deep disgust remained. And now I have been stripped of hope to such an extent that, no matter how spoiled they may be, they will still be loved—perhaps loved precisely for that reason—and I have come to expect exactly that. In a vast country of tens of millions, not a single person will see a problem in youth, because they cannot see it—because, in truth, they themselves encourage it. They impose pressure to “integrate into society” and to be “outgoing,” and thus youth is, in fact, nothing more than a kind of result. For that reason, I leave them to themselves, though I cannot reach indifference as easily as cynics do.
― Atrona Grizel
I downloaded an extension to my computer. It completely removes the comments sections on all kinds of social media. And when that happens, I notice that the internet suddenly becomes quiet—and therefore, in a way, more dignified—because in that state I am left alone with my own perspective rather than reading what others have written. And in this way, I find that I am, in fact, taking control of the entire internet with my own reality, and I love it.
― Atrona Grizel
In a society where people “learn” the names and flags of nations from mere match fixtures, it is impossible to be a historian—unless one has been bureaucratized, that is, tied to institutions. No one cares where anything came from or where it is going. The only thing they care about is football, football, and football. This country could have been turned into a vast academy, even if just theoretically—if only someone capable of doing so had emerged. Perhaps then, instead of identifying with football teams—that is, plastering the logo of the team they felt attached to on everything from their blankets to their car decorations—people would have carried the symbols of massive intellectual guilds upon themselves, almost like members of a cult, yet within them would dwell millions of others, because the entire country would have been designed as a kind of “mystical school” aimed at spiritual serenity rather than a chaotic zoo aimed at instant gratification and constant noise.
― Atrona Grizel
I offer the most insidious curse: be at the same time an atheist, a homosexual, and a woman in any society of the Middle East…
― Atrona Grizel
An ordinary young person wants to escape abroad because they cannot enjoy life here in a more “fulfilled” way, whereas the intelligent young person, driven by an involuntary hope that has no hope in itself, seeks to witness more noble Northern peoples who respect thought and do not disturb silence.
― Atrona Grizel
How ironic it is that those who present themselves as the most “nationalist” are, in truth, speaking among themselves in English—even when their actual languages are Russian, Spanish, or anything else. They do not say “привет” or “hola,” but quite literally “hello,” as if they themselves were English. And they do not even notice it, because the cultural imperialism of the West has habituated them to this same collective madness. When a majority accepts a form of madness as the norm, whatever it may be suddenly becomes “true,” and no one dares to object. Thus, no one finds it strange that someone who walks around with Russian flags or constantly praises Spanish history begins their day by saying “good morning.” No one questions it, because their minds, too, have been conditioned. This imitative language they use is tainted; and as long as language is not purified, thought itself cannot develop. In this way, they remain nothing more than cultural puppets of the English.
― Atrona Grizel
In hospitals, patients; in pharmacies, medicines; in shops, prices; in cafés, orders; in schools, grades… Every kind of social setting is an echo chamber confined within the limits of its own context, because in these places only matters relevant to themselves are discussed. And precisely for this reason, no real conversations take place in any of them. Such deeper dialogues belong to private moments, because only then can everything be spoken of—without limit.
― Atrona Grizel
Compulsory military service, in and of itself, is a form of conformism, and because this conformism is imposed under the name of “unity,” it becomes a violation of one’s inner world. Yuval Noah Harari is right: “It is impossible to hold an army together by constant violence alone; commanders and soldiers must believe in things like money, nation, nationalism, homeland, or God.” What he does not take further—likely because he is not entirely estranged from society—is that this observational statement, actually, points to something deeper: the entire military structure functions as a behavioral and cognitive conditioning center. Within it, those who are bound to their own inner reality—not machines, but individuals—are perceived as threats and are subtly pushed toward elimination. In this way, obedience to the state is instilled through indirect indoctrination. If a person with a rich inner world happens to fall into such a pitiable social structure, is forcibly conscripted, and complies, the only thing they are likely to encounter there is ridicule and insult aimed at diverting them from their path. Because the state values masses—though, in truth, it scarcely values even them—never the inner world. Many “enlightened” societies even organized open campaigns to abolish the draft, and most succeeded; yet the societies where compulsory military service still exists—especially where conscientious objection is not recognized either—are generally conservative and therefore backward states, and their populations tend to remain in ignorance. In truth, it is they who sustain this obligation, because cultural values likely present military service as “manhood.”
― Atrona Grizel
I am probably unlucky to be born into an excessively ordinary family. They have no defining traits. They simply exist. A house. A car. A few relatives. That is all. They have no particular characteristics that set them apart from other families. They do not read books. They do not write poetry. They do not play the piano or the violin. They do not go on night walks. They do not create “periods of silence” to distance themselves from television and gossip. They are simply… exceedingly ordinary. And the pressures they place on me follow the same predictable pattern one expects from any typical family: career, career, career…
― Atrona Grizel
When a human is regarded not as a human but as an animal—that is, as a biological species—suddenly everything becomes clear.
― Atrona Grizel
The primary thing I would invest in within the virtual reality sector would be a kind of “eye cinema”: a device that, when a person closes their eyelids, would allow them—if they wish—to play any scene they desire there instead of seeing darkness, enabling them to detach from the physical context they are in, and thus rendering them spiritually immortal wherever they may be.
― Atrona Grizel
Let there be no misunderstanding—I love humans; I have simply lost my trust that there are still human beings left in the world, and it seems to me that the root of humanity has dried up.
― Atrona Grizel
The secret of social indifference lies in being in relationships with others, because only a solitary person can be this acutely aware of its existence. Those who already have friends or a partner simply walk past the very streets that the solitary mind keeps circling, thinking about without end. Society is a shared arena of indifference. Only the solitary begin to think about the rest of society, because their minds are unoccupied; those who belong to a group do not even see the others. And since almost everyone belongs to some group, what emerges is a fragmented model of society—made up of clustered masses, divided into parts, yet still forcibly held together.
― Atrona Grizel
I would have loved to crush people's tiny brains and sell them as peanut butter.
― Atrona Grizel
At the core, everyone is a bastard: to be the child of an illegitimate world…
― Atrona Grizel
If social hierarchy were replaced by intellectual hierarchy—if intelligence were elevated instead of popularity—all societies across the globe would be turned upside down.
― Atrona Grizel
As Nietzsche said: thought comes while walking. But there was something missing in that claim: it is not the feet that must walk—it is the imagination.
― Atrona Grizel
There are now individuals more powerful than states. Capitalists wealthier than governments themselves. If they all united and turned against the state that is supposedly obliged to protect me, what would happen? That state would collapse. And that would mean the state is forced to submit to them, because the world is now monopolized by these individuals. It is not societies that govern oligarchs; it is oligarchs who govern societies.
― Atrona Grizel
Most philosophers remain in pure abstraction; they do not inject much emotional bias into their thinking, or at least that is how they appear. These are the “ethical,” and therefore harmless—and therefore useless—ones. Because they are entirely theoretical, their views are rarely met with hatred, which requires a strong reaction that usually stems from strong content. They are, after all, pure thought rather than inner conviction. Yet for that very reason, they cannot be unique, for they do not clearly dismantle the norms surrounding their environment. As for those who take the great gamble—the ones who openly contaminate philosophy with subjectivity, without hiding it, since all philosophy is inevitably subjective, but only a few possess the courage to express themselves radically—I suppose I belong among them. I openly resort to generalizations, without caring whether they are true, because I am trying to draw attention to something deeper beyond pure reason. Nietzsche was like this. Rimbaud as well. If all those fiery figures had presented their fire as mere ash, how could they have remained themselves?
― Atrona Grizel
The personality cults of so-called “benevolent” dictators—such as Josip Broz Tito or Mustafa Kemal Atatürk—in fact share the same underlying structure as those of “non-benevolent” dictators. These figures, whose faces are displayed everywhere, whose words are constantly circulated, and whose values are instilled through systematic indoctrination, reveal striking similarities when placed alongside so-called “bad” dictators like Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Mao Zedong, and Kim Il Sung. Of course, those living in Yugoslavia or Turkey, having adapted to the societies and cultural environments they inhabit, tend to internalize these narratives. Just as people in National Socialist Germany, the USSR, the PRC, or the DPRK may display a near-mechanical obedience, they too come to believe that their own leader is the greatest or the “best.” They generate myths around them, elevate them to an almost divine status, and it is even possible to hear children comparing God with their founding fathers. This should be seen solely as a cause for concern, as it signals that a process of assimilation is taking place.
― Atrona Grizel
There were times when I was utterly terrified, overwhelmingly lonely, because I didn’t even have the chance to spend time with my inner world. I had become so alienated from people that, if I were estranged from myself as well, I would freeze as if in a trance, because everything would cease to exist. In those moments, I listened to music—emotional songs, intentionally and radically different from the mainstream. Whenever I could, I turned to that niche music that offered a different world and made me forget the ugly one I have been trapped in here. I listen. Maybe at night. Maybe when no one was watching. Even for just a few minutes. Each song was an emotional fuel, like ammunition. One truth is undeniable: North Korean songs, even if I understand nothing about them, make me cry more than any other music. Propaganda? No. It’s because that state is living exactly what I am experiencing and turning it into art. It is such an artistic pleasure that I feel as if I know North Korean culture as intimately as those who live there. How is it that I feel as if I’ve been torn from my lost homeland while listening to their songs and drowning in tears? I have an emotional connection to that noble country. I feel deep pain at its absence. Yet I absolutely don’t believe that my mind has been brainwashed… it is my heart that is speaking.
― Atrona Grizel