I feel as though I’m living, or will live, the opposite of what most people experience: while others grow older and gradually distance themselves from the restless adventures of their youth, finding calm, I seem to be moving in reverse.

 I feel as though I’m living, or will live, the opposite of what most people experience: while others grow older and gradually distance themselves from the restless adventures of their youth, finding calm, I seem to be moving in reverse. When they were young, they plunged into clumsy adventures and foolish ideas, while I lived as though in absolute exile. Yet when they reach old age and drift into indifference toward everything, I find myself beginning to open outward—lightened by the very unseriousness that prolonged isolation has given me.