I destroyed my social naivety—that is, my inexperience and shyness—in favor of the dominance of my inner reality.

I destroyed my social naivety—that is, my inexperience and shyness—in favor of the dominance of my inner reality. In fact, I didn’t even do it consciously; it happened on its own as my thoughts darkened during the time I spent among humans. The world kept shouting at me that I was someone to be hated, and in retaliation, I armed myself against a humanity that had already armed itself against me. Ultimately, I refused to let my enemy have any effect on me. I found myself harboring almost no negative feelings toward who I was—because I had exchanged them for the ability to be ruthless toward everything and everyone I choose. Moments replay in my mind where I once felt ashamed of even the smallest of my actions, but now, I have eliminated all shame within me. Even if I were to sink into filth, I possess a bulletproof self-affirmation. And this radical acceptance of the inner world inevitably brings with it a radical rejection of the outside world. Outside I had no power. Naturally, my revenge became inward: an obsessive fixation on absolute self-governance. Do people think I have turned into a “monster?” Let them think so. As long as I know that the only real “monster” is those who think this way, I can't care slightly about their primitive thoughts.