The fantasy of taking revenge on the web of self-honoring ignorance I had fallen into by hurling my bookshelf out the window in fury and ridding myself of all the books inside.

 Years ago I used to imagine taking revenge on the web of self-honoring ignorance I had fallen into by hurling my bookshelf out the window in fury and ridding myself of all the books inside. After spending years in that web, I have the same fantasy again, but with one difference: when I imagine lifting and throwing the bookshelf, there is no added emotion—no anger or despair, at least. Simply the act.