When I feel disappointment in love, I feel a secret sense of relief.

When I feel disappointment in love, I feel a secret sense of relief. Because there still exists a force that can change me from top to bottom. The tight embrace of someone who understands me could obliterate my entire worldview right there. This means that, despite everything about me, there is still something I am bound to. In other words, I am still reachable by something. The peak of captivity is to receive love and grow accustomed to it—or rather, to experience all pleasant things and thus become so used to them that their effects are nullified. For such a person, no key remains anymore, because nothing is effective for them anymore. If I had been loved, I too would have grown numb to love over time and thus would not be patiently waiting for something with a hope so skillfully hidden even from myself.