Being an inner murderer.

 People think I haven’t committed murder—that I am “innocent.” But they do not know that, in my mind, I have already killed everyone with the most painful tortures, so that there is nothing left to kill physically. My body is governed by the state. Yet in my mind, no human-made law or morality holds sway. It is a slaughterhouse there, or a grinding machine that destroys everything. To be one’s only owner: this is what it means anyway.