There is nothing as unofficial as officialdom itself.
There is nothing as unofficial as officialdom itself.
―
Atrona Grizel
Since people are
inevitably going to die anyway, whether they are killed or not killed will
change nothing.
―
Atrona Grizel
In my dark
periods, I often imagined myself lying in my bed, curling under the quilt
toward my pillow, collapsing inward on myself, and disappearing from the
context altogether. Why wasn’t I being pulled into another reality? Why was I
still here? Why in this world? I was stuck, that was all. Reality was the
immutability of reality. I had no control over anything, and this only led me
to grow alienated both from myself and from my surroundings, because if I had
no control over them, then they could not belong to me, and if they did not
belong to me, then they did not exist at all…
―
Atrona Grizel
If I say that I
don’t believe in their religion and that I don’t support their culture, I’ll
either be cursed at or lynched—I live in such a narrow-minded and ignorant
country. This place is full of people who spend their days researching things
“forbidden” in their holy books, share them with others, gain the label of
being “respectful to religion,” yet secretly indulge in those very things. When
in public, they can insult or condemn swearing, drinking, or gambling “as a
matter of norm.” But behind the curtain, they are all drowned in profanity,
alcohol, and gambling themselves.
―
Atrona Grizel
When faced with a
text like “ways to influence people,” and when the listed points are read,
people think they will be able to “influence people.” And in fact, they do. Not
because these techniques are magical, but because people are
incredibly similar in what they value. For a common example, they
fall in love with power. Or, with money. And someone who knows this mechanical
predictability well and uses it for their own benefit will, of course,
“influence people.” Because people are the same; the same values, the same
beliefs, the same tendencies, the same identities, and the same minds. If they
are lonely, they become sad; if they are insulted, they question humanity; if
they are misunderstood, they become furious; and if they are treated as if they
are invisible, they grow numb. This resembles coded robots. Such modern
writings like “5 Ways to Happiness,” “10 Rules of Power,” or “50 Different Ways
to Love” undoubtedly benefit from this mechanical sameness. Because there is no
deviation from the “code.” These books don’t account for those who think
differently, because they are written for the herd. And
since none of them will respond with happiness to solitude, or with
sarcasm to grief, or by rejecting power and wealth, these conventional titles
apply to the vast majority of humanity simply due to their ordinariness.
―
Atrona Grizel
Two
schizophrenics walking through hell, hand in hand—without the need for
diagnosis… It is not they who hear voices; it is others who do not.
―
Atrona Grizel
Reality remained
subjective, remains subjective, and will remain subjective.
―
Atrona Grizel
The universe is
absolutely neutral—not friendly, not hostile, not even indifferent. It is
humans who infuse it with colors, and then call that “reality.”
―
Atrona Grizel
The world demands
that each person prove themselves. Those who still carry a childlike soul—who
still feel the need to “prove” something to others—are the ones who do so. I
have nothing left to prove, for I have gone beyond physical death into
spiritual transcendence. I have risen so high that I no longer trouble myself
with this small world. I have no mission here anymore. Yet my body remains
trapped within it, and people inflict upon it whatever torments they wish. If
only I could free it as well—leave this planet behind forever, erase it from my
mind—the only fate it truly deserves.
―
Atrona Grizel
X: “I developed
this private philosophy when I was only 15.”
Y: “But there’s
no documented evidence of it.”
X: “It’s enough
that I know; I don’t need you to.”
―
Atrona Grizel
The refusal to
live is the most radical form of opposition and, therefore, the most censored.
―
Atrona Grizel
A baker sees the
person in front of them as a customer. A biologist sees the person in front of
them as an organism. A doctor sees the person in front of them as a patient. A
psychiatrist sees the person in front of them as a label. A writer sees the
person in front of them as a character. A painter sees the person in front of
them as a painting. A philosopher sees the person in front of them as “a
tangled being.” Their reality is reduced to a function of utility, analysis, or
representation. On the other hand, the one without a profession, being free,
can contain—and does contain—all these perspectives within themselves.
Unemployment prevents the dominance of a single narrative.
―
Atrona Grizel
The thunder feels
like nature getting furious on my behalf.
―
Atrona Grizel
Seeing someone
who constantly spreads smiles suddenly grow angry unsettles me, for it shows
their happiness is conditional. The one who laughs even at what is irritating,
on the other hand, possesses unconditional and therefore infinite happiness—and
those called “mad” are precisely such people.
―
Atrona Grizel
I can close my
eyes so well that sometimes I think I’m blind.
―
Atrona Grizel
I don’t seek
understanding; I want a presence that doesn’t recoil when I arrive unkempt and
barefoot, something or someone that does not flinch when I bring nothing but
ruin and dust.
―
Atrona Grizel
If I am to seek a
rare person, I enter a platform full of messages, then with a tool I completely
cover the part where the messages appear, leaving only the names and profile
pictures visible. Because to see what kind of person someone is, the profile
picture and username they adopt are sufficient, even if there is no other
content. For societal minds always carry a mechanical pattern. It is not
difficult to predict who they are and how they would respond to any possible
message. If one can already imagine every answer they would give, why would one
act at all?
―
Atrona Grizel
I realize that I
deceive myself when I do not suffer.
―
Atrona Grizel
A situation
always means less than the view of it; it is a matter of perspective, not
experience.
―
Atrona Grizel
Psychiatry’s
domain is not perspective, but experience. It concerns what happened, what
happens, and what will happen—focusing solely on the fact and event itself. And
it is precisely for this reason that it’s art and philosophy, not psychiatry,
that can reach the innermost core of a person.
―
Atrona Grizel
To articulate is
to dilute, to disarm. The heart of all feeling and thought resides within the
confines of the inner world; to force them out, as though setting them on
display in a hostile realm, is to cast them into inhospitable territory where
they wither and die. This applies to everything, from love to rage. When one
expresses love, that irresistible urge calms. Or when they express rage, that
unmanageable desire enters a period of peace. It is only the
unexpressable—those things that cannot find their way into words, through any
tool or language—that grow with insidious relentlessness, becoming more
ferocious with each passing hour and day.
―
Atrona Grizel
The deepest
emotions are those that cannot be expressed; if they could be, they would cease
to be the deepest. Hence, a person who says, “They tortured me,” should be
imagined as happy. Yes, happy—because they possess the ability to express such
a thing; they can articulate what happened to them, what they have endured. But
I have not experienced anything that can be expressed by any means.
― Atrona Grizel