Ten days I spend in solitude are worth a hundred days I spend among people.
Ten days I spend in solitude are worth a hundred days I spend among people.
―
Atrona Grizel
There is a
broadcasting station.
It exists among
everyone,
and within
everything.
It sends
encrypted signals into its surroundings.
These signals
become lost amid the overwhelming noise—
but they never
disappear.
Tuning to the
correct frequency is all it takes.
Because that is
precisely its intent,
from the very
beginning.
The test is
deliberately designed so that an ordinary person always fails.
This is how it
protects itself,
from detection
and consumption,
by the average
mind.
And once a rare
heart hears it,
they become
immune to perceiving the overwhelming noise,
even when
surrounded by it.
For they switch
dimensions—
to the real one
that seeps through the veil of unreality.
―
Atrona Grizel
A mind that has
not been told and indoctrinated with “what it should do and how it must do it”
cannot be conquered; it can defy anything and become everything.
― Atrona Grizel
The mind must
demolish in order to breathe. Everything that tries to leash it. Be it an
institution, an ideology, or the entirety of the era and civilization.
Otherwise, what emerges is not a mind that breathes through its own lungs, but
a mind that performs photosynthesis.
―
Atrona Grizel
The obligations
imposed by the state as a “civic duty” rarely appear as obligations to social
people, because if they are social, it generally means they already love
society, and if they love society, they are also ready to do anything in its
name, for the sake of “nationalism.” But for someone who is unloved and
misunderstood, someone who has been treated merely as an object whose only body
is fed, this automatically turns into irony. And because this person is alone,
they can find time to think and will dwell on this, and thus will dismantle
bureaucracy in their inner world, even if externally they still exist within
the state’s world. In this case, for the concept of “justice” to be fulfilled,
it would be necessary for the state to serve the individual, not for the
individual to serve the state. Because if it is again the state that brings the
individual into the world, it is already obliged to take care of the body. But
if it does not take care of the soul, then it must bow before the individual.
―
Atrona Grizel
People are
greeted only by a face that never smiles. Yet behind that mask, it keeps
laughing at everything. Not ironically, but genuinely. And when it returns to
its solitude, it tears off the mask and lets its joyful laughter show freely. I
do not even laugh for a reason, and isn’t this the very source of the most
stubborn laughter? This is the gift of the deepest sorrows, the highest form of
laughter for me—and no one else can experience it. If others were to see this
secret life and its private joys, all that beauty would be trampled. Only I
will ever know how happy I am when I am alone.
―
Atrona Grizel
I wish I could
find someone who would dare to look into my eyes and, stubbornly frowning,
almost as if to say, “Are you willing to frown along with me?” There is nothing
as easy and cheap as laughing. And there is nothing at all in the grins people
put on, especially to “make a good impression on the other side.” It is merely
an emotionless muscle reflex.
―
Atrona Grizel
Music has the
power to drive a person to suicide. If music did not exist, I would
self-destruct from boredom; when it exists, I would do it from its enchantment.
―
Atrona Grizel
When there is a
fixed and definite time for me to go somewhere, I cannot understand it. In
cities, even a single minute is accounted for. I remember that as soon as 22.00
passes, the internet is automatically cut off, and I am thus forced to go to
bed “for my own good” without anything like love or respect accompanying it for
years. It’s as if they are sitting there waiting for the hour, and when it
comes, a command goes to their brains, and they mechanically shut off the
internet. Yet what difference is there between 22.00 and 22.05?
―
Atrona Grizel
I still miss you.
My heart aches
when I think of you.
But only this
much.
This feeling is
only beautiful this way.
You will always
hide inside my memory hutch.
And thus you will
always live on far away.
―
Atrona Grizel
I do not want
freedom but a different kind of captivity…
―
Atrona Grizel
Throughout my
life I never took seriously a single sentence adults told me or a single
harangue they delivered; and what increased over the years was not my
admiration for them—not “finally noticing their depths”—but stripping them
utterly bare and exposing their absurdity. As I grew older, I grew ever further
away from bodily adults.
―
Atrona Grizel
People are
utterly flat, like artificial intelligence. They sense nothing, like wood or
stone. Just like a racing car speeding through the middle of a field and
leaving behind crushed flowers that only the sensitive and perceptive notice.
―
Atrona Grizel
Rather than
defending one’s right, a person should uproot the need for that right—however
“cool” the former may seem.
―
Atrona Grizel
If Nietzsche is a
hammer, then I am a sword—a sword honed sharper with every pain I have lived
through, one that can even cut through a concrete wall and split it into
pieces. While the hammer is the purifier of the outside, the sword is the
imposer of the inside. He, in his own words, was “doing philosophy with a
hammer”; I, on the other hand, am “cutting philosophy with a sword.” I
sharpened myself like a knife, and that is why I can no longer love, because I
cut whatever touches me. Can a person love such a blade? Can they keep holding
it like a thorny rose, even as it cuts them harder as they hold it tighter?
―
Atrona Grizel
“Human nature”
defines the traits of the ordinary person who has never re-evaluated values.
This ordinariness is so widespread that it is seen as one and the same “nature”
in every separate and distinct individual. Yet at its core, the only thing that
creates it is a lack of allergy to mental assimilation. For example, through a
wholly different inner journey, a person can become a hermit who, by their very
existence, disproves the cliche “human is a social being.” Or they can be happy
precisely because they pursue unhappiness instead of happiness—because they
came into the world to be unhappy. A hermit existing peacefully outside the
social game shows that being sociable is not inevitable, and someone embracing
unhappiness as their fulfillment demonstrates that “the pursuit of happiness”
is not universal. In short, if an individual proves capable of existing in ways
the mainstream thought denies, then the supposed “human nature” dissolves.
―
Atrona Grizel
The
transformation of passion into productivity is like the industrial exploitation
of a hidden gold mine that has been discovered. The source of pleasure for the
one who does this is no longer the gold itself, but how “valuable” it is—that
is, how lovable or purchaseable it is in the eyes of others. In short, what was
once a vigorous and lively untouched tree is cut down through societalization
and turned into timber and paper for narrow human purposes.
―
Atrona Grizel
A person who has
nothing to worry about starts frightening themselves with nonexistent things by
inventing jinns and devils. Is it possible for a soldier at the front to be
afraid of ghosts that “watch from the corners”?
―
Atrona Grizel
Everyone is
laughing. From day to night. That means there is no laughter at all.
―
Atrona Grizel
Depth is the
thing that destroys logic and consistency, but this does not necessarily mean
disorganization.
―
Atrona Grizel
No one has the
authority to tell a person what is what.
―
Atrona Grizel
Showing respect
to the elderly just because they are physically old is nonsense. Adults derive
their power solely from having their opinions valued more simply due to their
bodily age. If they weren’t seen as adults, if this authority weren’t given to
them, they would instantly stop becoming one. If children were to stop
listening to them, how could they possibly enjoy going around injecting their
personal propaganda everywhere, playing the role of a “been-through-a-lot tough
guy”?
―
Atrona Grizel
To hope is to
give a dagger to the enemy and wait thinking, “Will they kill me?”
―
Atrona Grizel
They say that to
impose one’s own view on another is nothing but making that person a slave to
this view instead of their own. Only those who still cling to belief in
enlightenment could say such a thing. As for me, since I have neither purpose
nor promise, my hand is free. Precisely because it brings about no change,
because it only continues slavery in another form, they must adopt my view.
They will either err in my form, or vanish from my sight.
―
Atrona Grizel
The only thing I
need is perhaps someone who will witness me needing nothing at all.
―
Atrona Grizel