Optimism is not the cure for pessimism; it is its poison.

 Optimism is not the cure for pessimism; it is its poison.

― Atrona Grizel

I tried every possible way to free myself from my native language, because for me it has become synonymous with vulgarity, noise, and bigotry. It has reached a point where anything I read or even hear in that language triggers an internal vigilance, as if I’m bracing for a threat. English became a refuge from a language that represents all those unchangeable people in that degenerate society. Then I realized this: the language is etched into my neurons. Just as nationalism is instilled from childhood, a native language shapes a person’s entire way of seeing the world. A person feels foreign to other languages, and this binds them to their own, which serves states well because it creates citizens who will serve them. I wish there were a single world language, but if humanity didn’t have to use any language at all, I wouldn’t even want language to exist, because language itself represents negativity for me.

― Atrona Grizel

The positions of the planets do not determine my personality; my position determines the personality of the planets.

― Atrona Grizel

If I go to a psychologist or psychiatrist, what happens? The answer is simple: they will try to change me, to pull me back into society. Everything I say will be recorded as a symptom by minds whose bureaucratic training forces them into that “professional approach,” and because they lack creative thought, they simply absorb whatever their official careers have handed them without producing anything new, since the only thing they care about is their paycheck. Every attempt they make to change me will backfire, because nothing they say will affect me until they understand that the flaw is not in me, because there is not even a “flaw” to begin with. I have seen so much, yet I have so little evidence, and this separates me from people permanently, because people always demand “documentation,” and without it you cannot communicate with them. Even if you try, you become “delusional,” meaning the blame is turned on you. There is no one who will listen to me, and the truth is that the only way I might create such a possibility is by paying someone, and even then they will not understand.

― Atrona Grizel

Growing up in emotional security blinds a person to the corruption of society, because that person has been loved by society, or at the very least has found love within it, and therefore has not developed a harsh attitude toward it. Even when exposed to ignorance, they criticize it in a humane and hopeful way, meaning they still speak in the language of society. Negativity opens a person’s eyes and causes pain, while positivity merely intoxicates and feels pleasant. Someone who has not been exposed to negativity, or if they have, they experienced it while accompanied by others from society, has never been forced to sharpen their views like one sharpens a blade. A feral intelligence, because of its outsider nature, fuels itself. The requirement for bringing the inner world onto the stage is simple: solitude must be the only plausible reality. In such a situation, the hermit’s intellect branches out and grows, out of necessity, as its only means of survival, rather than being suppressed as it would be in social environments. Because of this, any sense of social belonging is buried like a corpse within solitary geniuses.

― Atrona Grizel

A teacher is essentially an “assimilator,” because teaching requires the student’s education, and education means reducing and forcing them into molds, the molds of others. Prophecy is different because it does not even require teaching anything; it is merely being a guide, if at all, and guidance is distinct from instruction.

― Atrona Grizel

Someone whose job is to look after children all day in a daycare—how do they endure all that noise? And they probably can’t wear headphones or magically make themselves deaf, so they constantly absorb that racket. This could even be my own unofficial eternal profession, but it can’t be said that I get a “salary,” and the noise I endure doesn’t come from little kids screaming but from the grunts of big bodies.

― Atrona Grizel

Most people reproduce not because they sincerely want to, but because they cannot endure the expectations and pressure placed upon them. The primary reason is to satisfy a state and a society that is hungry for babies, and in order to make this easier, they try to artificially create a desire in themselves in that direction. Everywhere they are exposed to slogans such as “people, by their nature, want to be parents,” and when this is combined with the fact that everyone thinks in this direction, or rather that they have a habit of defending this point of view because they do not possess a consciousness that truly thinks, their minds normalize and internalize it, and in this way they come to adopt this view. The result of this parenthood lacking in depth may be a key point in Generation Z itself, because according to my observations, many of them come from inadequate families, and one of the factors that makes them dependent on social media and peer influence is this emotional absence of family. Yet the value of starting a family is also internalized by them, and thus, when the time comes, they too throw children into the world, and in this way this cycle of inadequate families is maintained.

― Atrona Grizel

Someone who has not seen a thing doesn’t have to not know it. If I have never formed a close relationship with my family, this does not automatically mean that I cannot form a family of my own. Those who are dependent on and bound to experience take refuge in this excuse, and naturally, if they do not experience anything concrete, then in their eyes they have experienced nothing. But abstract minds can establish hundreds of families in their minds, and all they have to do is know how to pour this outward for a single, particular family.

― Atrona Grizel

There are two types of self-awareness: one that thinks, “How do I look?” and “What do they think of me?” and another that thinks, “What am I?” and “Is identity even real?”

― Atrona Grizel

In society, the acceptance of superficiality leads to the rejection of depth, because what people want are opiates that will numb them, not cold water that will shake them awake.

― Atrona Grizel

Those who care about whether something is “shameful” are not polite; they have simply grown up in comfort, or at least within society. Because, for example, there is nothing wrong with not giving up one’s seat to an elderly person, since no one actually cares about one another anyway, and acting as if they do is hypocrisy. If that elderly person opens their mouth and complains about it, they do not prove that they are “enlightened”; they only prove that they are a baby, because the more a person suffers, the less they demand. If, despite this action, they are in fact someone who has suffered deeply, then this is even sadder, because it means they still believe in such hollow values; that is, perhaps they have spent their whole life within the mentality of society, or at least they have started to believe again in things they previously did not believe in, meaning that in some way they have certainly evaluated people and humanity positively. But I do not even give way to the elderly, and this causes no shame in me. I throw trash on the ground, and this causes no self-doubt within me. Or I make people wait, and when they leave in response, I do not even feel sad, because my value will not be determined by such ridiculous human “courtesies” that cannot even reach me.

― Atrona Grizel