Narration destroys experience, and expression destroys essence.
Narration destroys experience, and expression destroys essence.
―
Atrona Grizel
Society tells a
person who does not know themselves who they are, and because that person is
unaware of themselves, their entire being takes shape around society—and thus
they become dependent on it. This is what makes even the slightest silence and
solitude unbearable, for in that state society disappears, and they are forced
to face the unflinching gaze of the void.
―
Atrona Grizel
A lonely and
pathetic internet addict who has no inner life often thinks like this: “I feel
sad. What else am I supposed to do? I’ll send a message to some random person
and offer them a slice of my life story, which they don’t even care about. Then
I’ll manage to keep going for a few more days on the temporary attention they
give me. After that, I’ll find someone else, and after exploiting them for a
few days for dopamine, I’ll move on to another.” But then they think about
their life, and, believing that they have failed to meet society’s standards,
they feel anger toward themselves and their surroundings. This time they think:
“I’m angry. I have to take this anger out on someone. But since I have no
options outside the screen, I have to do it on the internet. I’ll anonymously
hurl insults at random people and mock the things they create on social media.
That way I’ll relax, thinking that I’ve ruined their day. They won’t be able to
get rid of me, because I’ll do all this through a side account I use
specifically to vent this kind of anger. And if that account gets banned, I’ll
just open another one and start attacking people again, because I am dependent
on the attention of whatever it is that I attack.”
―
Atrona Grizel
I imagine myself
as a traveler aboard a high-technology spacecraft drifting through the void,
able to reach any world in moments and to abandon any planet the instant it
doesn’t interest me. Such freedom keeps me from becoming rooted in any single
world; the troubles of one sphere, including humanity—Earth’s restless
contagion—lose their claim on me. Humans cease to be central truths and fade
into mere background scenery, unworthy of burden. Yet every one of them is
literally trapped on Earth. How pitiful it is to mistake this one planet for
the whole universe simply because the era has not advanced far enough. Earth is
not a “home”; it should only be an option.
―
Atrona Grizel
My reaction is
always one of disgust and disdain whenever I see or hear of someone adorned
with official awards. For what does “being adorned” mean, if not servitude? And
is not servitude bound to societality, since it is a form of domestication?
Society itself, with all its social toxins, is the enemy of the inner world;
nothing that benefits society or civilization can ever truly serve art or
science. Thus, emotion and thought are genuine only when private; once
published and shared, they become mere toys in the hands of the crowd. I assign
no value to medals, yet when I set aside my view and look outward—toward
people—I see them all chasing after these ornaments, measuring their worth by
them, refusing to acknowledge any work as art unless it bears an award. They
belittle an unread writer by saying, “But you’re not being read,” because they
think that writer is not a “successful” one simply for lack of public
recognition. Yet since I believe that to truly be a writer means precisely not
to be read—because truth is not suited to noise—I can only respond to such
reactions with an ancient sort of bewilderment. Since I have never internalized
their social value of the “bright artist,” I cannot even comprehend their
seemingly natural reaction; I simply cannot believe they could be so comic and
ridiculous. Perhaps my mind, too, was expected to adapt to society as theirs
did—but because I grew not within society but in its orbit, I can feel, at
every moment, the dull mass-stupidity of career fetishism to which they have
long since become numb.
―
Atrona Grizel
I learned that
forcing someone into a narrow room where a white light is constantly burned
into their eyes, their ears are raped by endless, maximum-volume music, and
their movement is severely restricted, is a method of torture. When I heard
that, I discovered yet another allegory for my life.
―
Atrona Grizel
What neutralizes
hatred is indifference. How much venom can a furious soul hurl at a still,
unyielding wall that swallows every sound? Without a willing target to affirm
its existence, how long can hatred sustain itself? Silence enrages the one who
is full of hatred even more, and so that person eventually explodes on their
own, because it conveys this message: “You are beneath notice.” In the end,
they will learn that shouting and raging are futile. Yet if malice is met with
kindness, that hatred will grow arrogant, not vanish.
―
Atrona Grizel
After all,
nothing is more valuable than owning oneself.
―
Atrona Grizel
A self-sufficient
person who has nothing left to prove enters neither verbal nor physical fights.
The bully, however, is always, covertly, dependent on the one he/she bullies.
―
Atrona Grizel
Physical inaction
can be a source of awareness. When nothing is done, there is no external
activity to occupy the mind. This allows the inner world to take center stage.
―
Atrona Grizel
Just as one
cannot move while thinking, one cannot think while moving.
―
Atrona Grizel
Everything about
happiness—whether “the philosophy of happiness” or “the science of
happiness”—is itself a source of unhappiness.
―
Atrona Grizel
The more deeply
one is pulled into society, the more they get lost in a kind of game. To truly
understand society, it is more effective to be outside of it—not vice versa.
Because being outside of the game allows one to see things that no one within
it can see. From the outside, it becomes possible to observe more clearly. True
understanding comes from stepping back and observing society from that
distance, while being alienated from its mainstream values, rather than being
constantly caught up in its activities.
―
Atrona Grizel
To observe
without intervention is to claim the highest form of authority: sovereignty
over the self.
―
Atrona Grizel
A thought comes
to mind when it will, not when the person wills.
―
Atrona Grizel
Sometimes what
makes something beautiful is living its fantasy, not its “reality.”
―
Atrona Grizel
The existential
weight on a person lifts only when the self disappears: becoming a ghostlike
entity sent to Earth to record its ruins.
―
Atrona Grizel
If there were no
imagination, how could one possibly endure the world? This must be the
definition of hell: streets perfectly straight, buildings perfectly boring,
people perfectly dull, and nothing else… what kind of being could cling to life
here? I eat my food, drink my water, and stay in my shelter. The world provides
me with these. And I use what it provides to push the world out of my mind. By
allowing me to do this, the world fulfills its function. It feeds my body so my
mind can slip away and construct something more real than “reality.” After all,
isn’t the physical world, which can do nothing more than provide the security
of biological survival for the individual, designed as a kind of
“imagination-support unit,” so that the person, forgetting this world, can get
lost in alternative worlds? The only gift this world can offer dreamers is the
ability to imagine, which allows them to dream of other worlds and thereby
erase and forget this one.
―
Atrona Grizel
The very first
reaction to something “negative” is an outward expression of anger and
rebellion. In a way, it’s an automatic response. It’s mechanical because it
lacks further reflection: something “bad” happens, and the person responds with
that specific reaction as if it were coded into them beforehand—by “rebelling.”
Yet, countless possibilities and responses exist. However, among them, this is
the one most praised. If the person does not move past this stage, they might
even harm others. Later, this outward anger begins to turn inward, meaning the
anger still exists but has lost all hope of expression. If the person reflects
on this too, the next stage is usually alienation. In its early moments, this
state can even be terrifying, because they know that there is no return from
this edge anymore. Then comes the stage of mental exile—that is, becoming
transcended from everything human: hope, communication, belief, purpose,
meaning, happiness, and countless other fleeting concerns; no longer needing
them, no longer seeking them, thus entering a state of lucid neutrality. But if
none of these happen, the person gets stuck at the very beginning. Thus are
born minds that use swear words in every sentence they make.
― Atrona Grizel