Just as a biologist observes the behavior of ants, I observe humans in the same way.
Just as a biologist observes the behavior of ants, I observe humans in the same way.
― Atrona Grizel
Every piece I write is an egg I have laid. What is inside these eggs? Most people cannot break their shells, so they assume they are empty and move on to the next eggs, the bruised ones that can be easily crushed and swallowed. Because most people care only about filling their stomachs, not sharpening their teeth to bite through the shell.
―
Atrona Grizel
If I were to
experience the things I dream of in reality, I wouldn’t believe it. Because
they exist precisely to be dreamed.
―
Atrona Grizel
The world has
such a social system that it imposes a tiny corner of the earth on the
individual as if it were the entire world and condemns the person to this
narrowness. In the process, one never meets billions of people, encounters only
a minuscule fraction of them, and assumes that all of humanity consists of
those few. If partners were aware of the countless potential partners they
miss, they would leave each other instantly, because someone better can always
be found. The reason a person enters such an intimate relationship is not that
they love that person, but that this person is the best available one they can
love. Commitment survives not because it is justified on its own, but because
ignorance about other commitments makes it tolerable. A person should be able
to change people as easily as changing one’s tie. This is not a lack of care or
loyalty but a result of freedom and honesty.
―
Atrona Grizel
Instead of
discovering your self, you should build your self, because you can only have an
essence waiting to be built, not an essence waiting to be discovered.
―
Atrona Grizel
What determined
that I became this person and not someone else right now? What happened during
birth that made me come into the world as one specific baby and not another
baby? In short, what determines which consciousness will be which, and how? If
such a power exists—and clearly it does, as it appears—then I also cannot
believe that death would be a simple “death.” I even wish I could believe that,
because I would feel relieved, sensing that existence can be stopped. But it
seems to me that there is an eternal life—an existence that changes form
endlessly but continuously sustains itself.
―
Atrona Grizel
I do not endure
loneliness by feeling lonely. Instead, I form more unusual bonds that transform
my solitude, because the need to connect, I believe, is not something that can
be erased even in the most isolated hermit. Even if a person cuts every
attachment, this time they inevitably form a bond with disconnection itself,
begin to love it, even worship it…
―
Atrona Grizel
People ask me,
“What’s wrong?” I feel like telling them, “I was never understood.” But then I
realize they won’t understand even that—so I just stay silent and walk away.
―
Atrona Grizel
I feel as though
I’m living, or will live, the opposite of what most people experience: while
others grow older and gradually distance themselves from the restless
adventures of their youth, finding calm, I seem to be moving in reverse. When
they were young, they plunged into clumsy adventures and foolish ideas, while I
lived as though in absolute exile. Yet when they reach old age and drift into
indifference toward everything, I find myself beginning to open
outward—lightened by the very unseriousness that prolonged isolation has given
me.
―
Atrona Grizel
There is only one
addiction I can’t resist: my dependence on independence. I am dependent on what
I am independent of.
―
Atrona Grizel
A warlike mind
needs the existence of enemies. For there to be peace, there must always be
war. If there are no enemies left, new ones will become their friends. If they
also run out, then they will turn on themselves…
―
Atrona Grizel
I feel the urge
to form relationships with people only when I experience something that
disturbs me even in my solitude—for instance, when I struggle to feed myself
due to financial strain. In my natural state, however, I have no such desire,
because I am happy when I am alone. If I attempt to form friendships, it is
merely to use them as tools of a sort—means that help me sustain my existence
by offering support. In other words, I reach out to people not out of genuine
interest, but out of necessity and survival. This, of course, turns them into
objects, and while I am capable of love, I cannot feel affection for objects. Yet
I do not know any other way to see human beings, because I am neither attached
to nor dependent on them. Emotional love requires bodily desire, and bodily
desire implies worldliness—and I do not possess that.
―
Atrona Grizel
The absence of
freedom makes everything permissible.
―
Atrona Grizel
I can sink into
suffocation and wander at the peaks of confinement as much as I want. As long
as no biological reaction, like a heart attack, accompanies it, nothing will
happen.
―
Atrona Grizel
To be able to be
wrong is a skill.
―
Atrona Grizel
Why does a person
rest if they are tired? As long as the organism does not die, nothing will
happen from utter exhaustion. Submitting to the body’s desire for rest can be
nothing other than an excuse.
―
Atrona Grizel
If one doesn’t
open the door and tell them to walk through, people will stand outside forever,
simply because their way of thinking is conditioned to superficial engagement.
―
Atrona Grizel
Traveler, what
are you searching for here?
Where is your
boat heading—or is it heading anywhere at all?
You slipped from
the surface into this underground cave; you are a stranger here.
What delusion
sustained you up there under the sun?
Behold, our paths
have crossed in these misty waters and in this pitch-black darkness.
What lies within
your mist? What is concealed in your darkness?
Now we shall
part—you to your way, and I to mine.
Gently drift your
boat; do not disturb the silence.
For it alone will
remain our eternal witness.
―
Atrona Grizel
No flag is
innocent.
―
Atrona Grizel
Just as there is
nothing to be gained, there is also nothing to be lost.
―
Atrona Grizel
To be “silent and
contemplative” was once seen as a kind of philosophical way of life—withdrawal
from the physical world into reflection—respected and even encouraged. Now, no
one would call such a person a “perceptive monk”; they would only see an
“abnormality” to be labeled. For these traits have degenerated because the
number of humans has increased—and thus the number of lives not worth living
has multiplied. In modernity, the world has been filled with unnecessariness,
and the human being has been hollowed out. Consequently, the typical image of a
solitary person in the contemporary world is that of someone disillusioned,
hopeless, and angry—and this is often true. For loneliness has fallen into the
hands of those who think of its noble dignity as a kind of child’s toy, and who
have monopolized its propaganda, shaping all perception of it negatively, as
something to be feared and medicalized.
―
Atrona Grizel
Refusing to have
children because of “the world’s disgrace” may at first glance seem wise. Yet
no one was “happy” before they were born, nor will anyone be “happy” after they
die.
―
Atrona Grizel
My loyalty is to
everything that is beyond human.
―
Atrona Grizel
The homogenous
nature of teachers employed in official schools dictates that they be
performative and talkative. Since they are designed to endlessly make speeches,
the only thing they actually do is come, make noise, and leave. What could they
possibly understand of an autodidactic hermit who literally worships silence
and stillness?
―
Atrona Grizel
While observing
those who have adapted to society, I notice this: the reason they are the way
they are stems from an inner pressure born of inadequacy and cowardice, and
nothing more. The things they love are the very things loved by everyone. The
words they write are the very words written by everyone. The trends they are
enslaved to are the very ones everyone chases. Even the things they think are
already thought in the exact same manner by everyone else. Free spirits who
have not tasted any of this, who have become their own witnesses and architects
in prolonged solitude, know very well that beneath it all lies the tendency to replicate
externality. For them, externality has never opened its arms; thus, their
inwardness has become their externality. But for the ordinary rest, society is
unconsciously accepted as legitimate.
―
Atrona Grizel
Many people who appear “majestic” are, at their root, skyscrapers erected upon mud. The skyscraper’s presence frightens and repels those who fail to notice the mud. In contrast, the mud’s presence disgusts and drives away those who refuse to see—not due to an inability or avoidance—the skyscraper. And thus, that structure endures—solely for this reason.
― Atrona Grizel