For most, what applies is not “having children,” but reproducing.

 For most, what applies is not “having children,” but reproducing.

― Atrona Grizel

I used to wonder how people could live amid this constant street noise without going insane. But then I realized: they don’t even hear the street. Either they’re buried in television, or they never take off their headphones and therefore forget the street exists at all. Fine, but how do they endure this dullness of everyday life? In video games, for instance, there are millions of worlds. How can a person bear knowing they will never physically live in those worlds? Imagination exists only to be consumed—it has no place in this world. How do they live knowing that? By burying themselves in technological devices, of course. In the past, this took the form of literature; today, screens have taken its place. If those screens were taken away, people probably wouldn’t return to literature either and would lose their minds instead. But perhaps I’m still being too optimistic, assuming people possess broad-feeling, creative intelligences—because they don’t even have a consciousness that goes beyond ordinary reality enough to become bored with it.

― Atrona Grizel

I like saying “if only.” In fact, a person should say it often—contrary to what conventional wisdom assumes. But not the kind of “if only” that demands action; rather, the kind that simply remembers. That is: it would have been beautiful if only it had been, but even its not having been is beautiful.

― Atrona Grizel

Nietzsche affirmed life, but I almost affirm affirming life itself, to the extent of abandoning life altogether. What I mean is not living life by affirming it, but affirming the affirmation of life, quarantining it as if it were a sacred object so that it is never actually lived. I am Nietzsche without Dionysus.

― Atrona Grizel

Thinkers who can be co-opted by institutions like academies are not truly thinkers because they have been commodified. To earn the title of professor, one must be a submissive figure, because anyone who thinks too differently will be expelled from any place they enter, if they’re even allowed in at all. Those who adapt and become “public philosophers” do not carry strong ideas, and this is precisely why they are idolized—because people are unwilling to consider the possibility that they might be wrong. The most genuine opinions are the most dangerous, and that is exactly why society can never understand them in its own unreality. The reactions people will give are “boycotts,” while the response from authorities will be censorship. This situation tends to make these cynical thinkers even more cynical, often reducing them to the level of Diogenes.

― Atrona Grizel

Nietzsche saved me from my life; Cioran saved me from Nietzsche—and from being saved.

― Atrona Grizel

I have neither now nor have I ever had an existence comfortable enough to still be capable of falling in love. I am neither naive nor unscarred enough to be passionately attached to anyone. If someone wished to hug me—let us say they did—rather than feeling anything pleasant, I would ask, with full seriousness, “Why? When you were absent, I learned to live without you, and now you stand before me, asking me to destroy that with a hug?” I can feel affection for things—and I do—because to me, they are the ones that are metaphysically alive. To feel deep love for beings who are physically alive—that is, for people—feels like insulting myself by lowering myself to their level. I love not “who,” but “what,” by which I mean an intellectual love. I do not find emotional love frightening, only ironic—like a child’s game. Simply… “funny.” After all, a god—perfect and complete—does not, and cannot, fall in love, for love requires vulnerability and deficiency.

― Atrona Grizel

Young people are mired in the swamp of pleasure and amusement, while the elderly are stuck in the bog of religion and tradition. Why must the rule always be like this?

― Atrona Grizel

There is no such thing as a “conscious consumer,” because one who is conscious does not consume.

― Atrona Grizel

To be “anti-ideology” is itself, inevitably, an ideology. For to be “anti” or “pro” toward anything is to preserve its existence, as though inheriting it.

― Atrona Grizel

I see CEOs and politicians as dirtier than murderers and rapists.

― Atrona Grizel

When I see children in the grey, concrete cities of the Middle East—cities that have turned into heaps of rubble due to war and conflict—their heads adorned with fluffy headphones, their bodies draped in clothes patterned with popular cartoon characters, their feet encased in glittering shoes, and their hands clutching phones—phones handed to them under the pretense of “leaving their families alone”—instead of feeling any warmth, instead of some innocent flicker of human connection stirring within me, what awakens, what refuses to be quiet, is the image of the force responsible for all of this: the West.

― Atrona Grizel

Trying to describe something that does not exist—this is how I feel about anything I write concerning existence. Reality is not even “bad” or “flawed,” for it does not exist at all. I am not living: I am “imagining” that I live. Since I treat as real something that is not, I am merely one illusion among countless others within a broad illusion.

― Atrona Grizel

A shallow good is worse than a deep evil; I would rather be tyrannical and monstrous than ugly and mediocre.

― Atrona Grizel

To carry a mind whose imagination is as realistic as reality itself could solve everything. But evolution stands against this: why would such an omnipotent mind, biologically, seek reproduction? Genes, in this context, have deliberately designed humans to be cognitively weak so that they remain dependent on external stimuli—hungry for approval, love, comfort, and stimulation—so that the organism stays motivated to connect, bond, and reproduce. They are intelligent enough to invent fire, write symphonies, and build rockets, yet dumb enough to chase approval, to hunger for love, and to fear being alone. And that is not even a “flaw”; it is the very mechanism keeping the species going. Thus, even if the body dies, the genes are passed on from generation to generation.

― Atrona Grizel

Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I feel as if I have been “interacting too much” with the Earth, precisely because I have been “pulled into” it from somewhere else. In order to return to myself, I need to leave the planet and forget it for a while again.

― Atrona Grizel

If the elixir of immortality were found, there would be neither culture nor morality nor ideology nor religion left.

― Atrona Grizel

Even though I have never stepped outside the walls for years, I feel as if I have traveled the whole world.

― Atrona Grizel

I could never reconcile with referring to my friends as “social support.”

― Atrona Grizel

A person is a third person who must themselves be witnessed.

― Atrona Grizel

Preventing children from accessing “horrifying” content is deception rather than protection, just like the comfort given by an illusion.

― Atrona Grizel

I feel like I have been waiting for something so long that I have forgotten what it is.

― Atrona Grizel

It is evident from their state that people have never witnessed—and cannot even imagine—someone different who is able to live without the things they chase after, simply because of the sameness of the lives surrounding them. Within me I carry an “illegal” life no one knows is possible, hidden from all outside.

― Atrona Grizel

To live is to make noise.

― Atrona Grizel

I don’t see most people as having heads; I see them as creatures with a mouth in place of a head. Cutting off their elongated tongues would kill them, since their entire lives depend on those tongues.

― Atrona Grizel

I can definitely connect with people, but to do that I must tolerate them. And if I must tolerate them, then I will definitely not connect with them.

― Atrona Grizel

“Do you also see what I see?” I asked. My voice echoed in the room filled with emptiness.

― Atrona Grizel

The refusal to state is a statement.

― Atrona Grizel

There are two kinds of suicide: one aims to escape from oneself, while the other aims to escape from things that are not oneself.

― Atrona Grizel

If life were different, the person would be different too. What makes a person who they are is that one single thing they have lived through among billions of possibilities.

― Atrona Grizel

There is no such thing as “silence.”

― Atrona Grizel

Tear down the rules, burn the institutions, renounce society, build theories, form philosophies, create universes—then a single bullet strikes your head, and everything ends… does it? Who can say this is not a kind of ending but the true beginning?

― Atrona Grizel

Does the surface not give sunlight? Then grow inward, into the depths of the soil.

― Atrona Grizel