Common sense is nonsense.
Common sense is nonsense.
―
Atrona Grizel
Even people who
call themselves “social critics” are trapped in what I see as “cultural
assimilation,” and they don’t even notice it. Even the fact that they smoke
cigars is enough to prove this, because that habit is rarely an individual
choice. It reflects imitation—in other words, social influence. On top of that,
they turn this into their “style” and identify themselves with cigars, as in
figures like Freud and Sartre. Most likely, they also embrace the “courtesy of
offering a cigarette,” that is, the absurdity of mistaking poison for a friend.
Do they really think they look “cool” by doing this? This lack of compatibility
between philosophy and life exists in Schopenhauer as well: although he used
Buddhist rhetoric, he lived a comfortable, pleasure-seeking life in practice
and even referred to this by saying, “I do not have to live my philosophy; not
everyone is obliged to.” Even if I can find such people intellectually
justified, I can never warm to them emotionally. The people around them are
also the same. They have all grown desensitized. That is why they are the most
dangerous ones. In my youth, before I understood them, I assumed they were
“enlightened,” so I tried to align myself with their ideas. I tried to prune
myself to fit their mold, not out of shallow imitation but because I had accepted
them as truth. And I accepted them as truth because I was desperate. I was
completely alone in my pain, so I clung to anything that looked like a path to
salvation. In that sense, I was hunted too. They hunted me the way someone
might offer poisoned food to a penniless, starving homeless person, exploiting
his misery to get rid of him. I ate that food as well, but I did not die, and
years later its effects were purged from me. The answer to how I survived is
simple: I was free from culture. For example, culture sees solitude as
“shameful,” but because I did not carry that view, I could take pride in it.
Being alone became my revenge. Even the most reclusive people spoke of
loneliness as something negative, and to free myself from all of them, I
forbade myself from thinking that way. Perhaps it was out of stubbornness, but
it doesn’t matter. By merely existing, I would invalidate all their views.
Later on, I began doing to them what they had done to me, though not by
offering poisoned food, but by giving them nothing at all and keeping them
under constant intellectual bombardment.
―
Atrona Grizel
I felt such a
deep anger toward humanity that I refused to be angry.
―
Atrona Grizel
Sometimes I feel
like a dog being fed. People simply put food in front of me and leave. They
don’t even do it so that my stomach will be full; they do it just so they can
relax and go back to themselves. And the only reason they get angry and glare
at me when I don’t eat is this: because in their eyes I am a being that has
lost its humanity—or rather, was never human to begin with—and naturally they
react that way only because they haven’t been able to get rid of me, not
because I’m hungry. It’s like they feed me out of obligation, as if I were an
animal they were forced to adopt. Sometimes, for this reason alone, I wonder
why the thing called “family” even exists, and I can’t explain why they fed me
in the first place. It’s as if my family exists only to feed and clothe me, and
I can’t even expect anything beyond that, because that’s how the concept of
family has settled in my mind. Because why would someone pour money into a
child for a lifetime, especially without showing any love? Why did they create
such an obligation for themselves? A momentary hormonal interaction for a brief
time produced an unwanted life for an entire existence, but why?
―
Atrona Grizel
It’s me who
created humans. Because they are not things that exist on their own; they are
things that exist in my mind. Simply put, if the thing that allows me to
perceive them were to disappear, they too might “disappear.” So if I did not
have the consciousness that makes it possible for me to recognize humans, they
would vanish. This means I created all of humanity by myself, and when I
interact with it, I am in fact only interacting with myself again, because
there is no one else.
―
Atrona Grizel
Being close to
suicidal thoughts usually distances a philosopher from the act itself rather
than bringing them closer, because suicide becomes something familiar and thus
loses its force. For an ordinary person, however, the opposite is often true,
largely due to reactivity prevailing over reflexivity.
―
Atrona Grizel
People who admire
me resemble the small moons trapped in the orbit of giant and majestic Jupiter,
held there by its immense magnetic pull.
―
Atrona Grizel
Not every human
deserves love.
―
Atrona Grizel
Of course there
is no institution that helps make it possible for someone to withdraw alone
into the forest. Because institutions exist not to let individuals live
independently of society but to imprison them in it. Otherwise, where would
states find the masses they can exploit in order to survive?
―
Atrona Grizel
The existence of
slang, meaning regional, sexual, or occupational variations, leaves language
defenceless against cultural imperialism, because it has too many versions and
can therefore be easily bent. Foreign cultures take over a culture in exactly
this way, and they do it so skillfully that the culture can even continue
believing that this is its own. But if the language is sterilized, meaning if
there is a single uniform language used by everyone everywhere, that language
becomes a shield protecting its original identity, and it becomes an invincible
soldier cleansing the culture of the contamination of globalism.
―
Atrona Grizel
Young adults
begin to show the real signs of aging when they start to feel that childhood
and youth, which once seemed like the entire universe, actually occupy only a
tiny space in a long stretch of time, and that the world they once thought was
the center of everything is not a center at all.
―
Atrona Grizel
A person’s
personality in writing and in speech is almost always different, and neither
alone fully reflects them. It is misleading to imagine a writer or philosopher
who has many writings but no recorded interviews as being just as they appear
in their texts.
―
Atrona Grizel
The walls I built
around myself eventually imprisoned me, and this only shows how skilled I am at
architecture. I’m so skilled that I couldn’t stay ahead of my own talent, and
by making something “too effective” when I meant it merely to be useful, I
ruined it. The prison of a masterpiece.
―
Atrona Grizel
I sacrificed my
soul for the sake of my philosophy. If I were a living human rather than a
living myth, I wouldn’t be writing these words now, because I would have
vanished. My soul could not be saved, so it would either die or evolve. The
disappearance of my philosophy would set my soul free, but that soul would not
be able to hold on to life in an ugly existence like this; it would be like a
fish thrashing on land trying to breathe. That is why I turned my mind into an
overworking kind of serial thought-production machine and began systematically
producing drops of water, just so I could breathe a little.
―
Atrona Grizel
One who is his or
her own god has no need to borrow a god from outside.
―
Atrona Grizel
If one pays
enough attention and possesses a strong capacity for observation, it is
actually possible to sense which category a person belongs to merely by looking
at their appearance. Not “lookism”; perceptiveness.
―
Atrona Grizel
The greatest pain
is not the pain that cannot be endured but the pain one does not want or is
unable to want to endure. A person may be strong and perfectly capable of
managing it, yet they feel no desire to do so, nor can such desire be instilled
in them. What hurts them is precisely this, not “weakness” or anything of the
sort. One can speak loosely about all other kinds of pain, but this one stands
alone as an exception.
―
Atrona Grizel
In cartoons,
there are clearly absurd scenes designed for children, such as this: the main
character hides in some bushes to escape an enemy chasing them. But instead of
fully getting behind the bushes or covering themselves completely, the
character mockingly drapes a few leaves around their body from the neck down in
a halfhearted disguise. When the enemy looks their way, they pass by because
the character is motionless and “green,” mistaking them for a “bush,” allowing
the character to escape. This also exists widely in daily life; it is not
something that sprang from an imaginary world but has seeped into ordinary
reality as well. The enemy character who cannot distinguish the character from
a shrub can be a perfect allegory for any person whose thinking and feeling
have become mechanical and flat. Even a person’s tone of voice alone may be
enough to understand what kind of person they are, yet these robotic beings
have let their minds rust for so long that the only filter through which they
interpret events is habit. Forget noticing the subtle detail in a voice;
because they grew up within society and have become accustomed to its shape,
they do not even perceive it. Their overly social minds do not register it,
seeing it merely as background noise. The ignorant fail to detect the ignorance
of other ignorant people for precisely this reason, and just like the character
in the cartoon, they see someone who is clearly a figure as nothing more than a
collection of branches and leaves. They don’t even mind that the person’s skin
shows between the leaves or that their head is sticking out entirely, because
their minds have been carved out by the very relationships that bind them to
humanity, leaving them without the sensitivity required to notice detail.
―
Atrona Grizel
It is not the
dead but the perfect that does not change, because it has no need to. To change
is a sign of weakness and frailty; gods never change in essence. Yet whether
perfection itself is death is a more complex matter.
―
Atrona Grizel
I have not
suffered from the complete absence of meaning but from its extreme scarcity,
which in turn magnified even the smallest experiences. Even a simple accidental
touch is enough to satisfy my need for physical contact for a week, yet I doubt
I could endure a hug because of the intensity of my internal reaction. My mind
would become a ship’s deck with walls full of holes, taking on water from every
side and desperately rushing from place to place in an attempt to seal them.
Whether the ship would sink or merge back into the sea itself, I cannot say.
―
Atrona Grizel
Defend the self
at all costs.
―
Atrona Grizel
Society is
gaseous; the unawakened are liquid; the awakened are solid. Those who remain
water will always evaporate into the air; those who are diamonds will always
remain themselves.
― Atrona Grizel