As awareness grows, so does the alienation.
As awareness grows, so does the alienation.
―
Atrona Grizel
People ask others
about the meanings of philosophical texts they cannot comprehend. And by doing
so, they “learn” what these texts mean from someone else. From the view of
others. Because modernity, in its quest for speed, convenience, and external
validation, has produced individuals who seek answers like consumers shop for
goods. Their minds see philosophy as a source of close-ended answers rather
than vast and subjective questions. For not only do they fail to grasp that
philosophy does not necessarily have to “mean” anything—they also do not even
know how to think for themselves.
―
Atrona Grizel
Where can I fit
my pride? I have a self as vast as the universe, so wide that it does not fit
into rooms or buildings. With an essence larger than the world yet trapped
inside it, where do I enter, where do I go? I only look ridiculous in the
world. Because I am not even in the world. What remains is only my compressed
version within it. How can so much be forced into such a body, and how does
this body not overflow? Because I have left the body as well. Context cannot
touch me anymore; no matter where I am, I am simply… there. Unaffected. I am
only an abstract being, endlessly drifting.
―
Atrona Grizel
In regimes that
control every aspect of an individual’s life, self-discipline—though born of
necessity—tends to be strong. In contrast, within systems that leave the
individual to their own devices, it vanishes in the name of “freedom,” replaced
by indulgence in pleasure, comfort, and entertainment. The average human mind
possesses an inherent weakness toward the body it inhabits; the intellect is
governed by instinct, not the other way around. This is the defining trait of
liberal societies: every emotion exists in excess, yet none carries depth or
reflection. However, when a regime arises that—rather than allowing humanity to
sink deeper into its own flaws—compels it, even through suffering, to confront
and transcend them, then and only then can a society unite under a single
vision. Totalitarian regimes have always seemed more compelling to me than
democratic ones, not out of admiration for tyranny or cruelty, but because they
most fully embody the capacity to forge a superior civilization of their own
design. As long as the world remains governed by democracy, it will never
achieve true unity; consequently, it will never lift its gaze toward the stars.
In other words, humanity will never build an advanced, spacefaring civilization
so long as it remains bound and confined by its so-called “libertarian
ideology,” which keeps it chained to the Earth.
―
Atrona Grizel
I speak to
silence, and it answers with a voice older than memory—a song composed of
forgotten griefs and unclaimed joys. In those moments, I glimpse a reality too
vast for language, a landscape where pain and beauty intertwine in an endless
dance.
―
Atrona Grizel
Losing touch with
physical reality is a door to another reality—or even a gateway to numerous
distinct and different realities. In this way, the person transcends the
boundaries of a singular, narrow, tiny reality and ascends to other worlds, as
if traveling through dimensions.
―
Atrona Grizel
Have you ever
felt, inside your own body, as if you were sealed within an astronaut
suit—untouchable from the outside?
―
Atrona Grizel
The ability to be
extremely patient—not “tolerant”—toward events and places came to me by
realizing that they were only a few grains on a beach of perhaps millions. In
other words, that person was merely an insignificant one among billions. Or
that place, too, was just an ordinary one among billions. By this I do not
point to their smallness but to the fact that they are not, and cannot be, the
whole of life. My entire life passed in a single cramped place, surrounded by
the same people. In such a place I could not have survived except by mentally
prying away the reality of that place and those people from their grip.
Inevitably my thinking broadened: if I did not love that place, there were
forests, mountains, even outer space, and I could very well have loved them. If
I were not loved by those people, there were hermits, monks, even the homeless,
and I could very well have been loved by them. Reality, then, was completely
relative. I remember the deep reluctance and shame at the start of my
adolescence when my consciousness first became complex. The sole reason for
that was not fear or insecurity but simply not having grown accustomed to the
world—that everything has its variant.
―
Atrona Grizel
I go from loving
you so much
as my kindred
muse,
to resenting you
so much
as my worst foe.
From waiting for
you all my life,
to dismissing you
every time.
From drowning you
in flowers,
to burning them
all the next minute.
Yet I have never
been this fluid with anyone;
you let me be.
Is it possible
that even my deepest hate
is a form of awe?
My heart moves
from fire to cold,
from cold to
fire,
While flames fuel
it over and over more,
the sudden frost
freezes our love.
But if it were to
yield to such harshness,
it would have
already faded before.
If opposites did
not owe their existence to each other,
they would have
already proven futile.
We, as two roses
on the same twig,
can never
separate.
We held each
other in embrace,
and watched stars
tirelessly dance.
Even if we are
separated by far continents,
the Moon unites
us; it is both here and there.
We are in the
same universe,
same galaxy,
same planet,
and under the
same time.
We exist within
all of these,
despite all of
those.
We are a result
of an infinite chance coming true,
the only
alternative within fate.
Your eyes speak
to me;
I speak their
language.
They gazed into
me, they told me.
They shined under
the bare moonlight, they taught me.
Loving someone I
hate,
pushing away
something I desire.
You are my
beautiful lie,
my sweet
nightmare.
We ignited each
other in a cave,
and bled together
in strife.
Upon this pool of
blood,
didn’t we shine
once more?
Even if you hide
in corners,
I will watch you
with my eye.
Even under
unimaginable circumstances,
I will imagine
you remembering me.
Maybe that is
what’s called the thorns of the rose;
maybe that is
where lies the beauty of our essence?
―
Atrona Grizel
The fear that
arises from what is understood is sharper than the fear of what is not
understood.
―
Atrona Grizel
What makes life
sustainable is, quite simply, sleep. Sleep suspends consciousness for hours,
temporarily pausing existence to allow rest and renewal. If one goes to bed
feeling bad, that feeling often fades by morning—not necessarily because of
resolution, but because of the belief in waking to a new, fresh day. Sleep
creates a gap between days, a rupture in continuity, which allows each day to
feel distinct from the last. But for a person who has lost their sleep, there
is no such gap. Days bleed into each other without separation. Life becomes a
single, unbroken stream—unceasing, unrested, unrelenting. Time moves forward
without pause, and existence becomes a weight that never lifts.
― Atrona Grizel