Among people, I am the actor. In solitude, I am the author.
Among people, I am the actor. In solitude, I am the author.
―
Atrona Grizel
Some animals live
only a few hours. The very first reaction I had upon learning this, accompanied
by a laugh, was, “Then why are they even born?” Yet this is the case for every
living being. In this context, a human life is not fundamentally different from
the life of a fly. Even if a living being lives a thousand years, from the
perspective beyond the narrow human perception of time, everything would seem
tiny, and naturally, none of it would truly matter.
―
Atrona Grizel
There are
countries in which voting is deemed “mandatory,” and this coercion is presented
as evidence that voting is important. Yet in such countries, individual votes
rarely determine anything. If genuine freedom existed in these societies, the
choice not to vote would itself be recognized as a legitimate freedom. Since I
see no respectable political party anywhere, and since I already regard
democracy as fundamentally impractical, my refusal to vote merely results in a
fine. The state has ingeniously constructed a labyrinth designed to extract
money from every form of rejection, replenishing its treasury so that the
ruling elite may live comfortably, while labeling this mechanism “the
protection of citizens’ rights and responsibilities.” The state cannot tolerate
disengagement because disengagement exposes the hollowness of the spectacle. I
am under no obligation to be interested in politics. The excessive importance
assigned to politics is itself evidence of a backward society, given that
politics rarely produces genuine or substantial change. A society obsessed with
politics, one in which parties, elections, government figures, and procedural
theatrics dominate conversation and thought, is not mature or aware but
mentally and spiritually inert. Politicians may shout at the masses about
“defending their rights” in order to encourage political involvement. That is
precisely how the Nazis came to power in the first place: by promising
happiness to an unhappy people. Yet the public is so narrow-minded and ignorant
that it cannot see that these politicians think only of their own lives, and
that even when they claim to care about others, they are incapable of stepping
outside the confines of their own minds. Politics inevitably assumes a
bureaucratic form. If my alienation is directed precisely at that bureaucracy,
what could politics possibly do to represent someone like me? Even opposition
politicians exist only to reproduce the same system in altered guises. They
earn salaries precisely because they “oppose,” and a person who profits from
criticism cannot be genuinely critical in essence, but is merely performing
dissent as a profession. In a country populated by such soulless figures, where
even acknowledging their existence feels like an insult to my own dignity, I
will not approach the ballot box, reluctantly or otherwise. I will never seek
salvation from cardboard boxes.
―
Atrona Grizel
Because my
relationships resemble philosophical alliances, I cannot ignore someone’s
existence within the world of society; and if I do ignore it, then either I
never approach that person at all, or, if I already have, I leave them
immediately and go. I need solitary people, utterly solitary people, untouched
treasures.
―
Atrona Grizel
I know that I
cannot remain open forever within a closed system. It is like being someone
who, behind walls woven for years, writes dangerous poems that no one will ever
read. But if those walls were to come down, would I not be executed precisely
for writing forbidden poems?
―
Atrona Grizel
There is only one
true kind of elitism, and that is intellectual aristocracy. The ordinary
majority comprises almost all of humanity, but there is always a small segment:
the quality people, and they alone. Society is merely a rubbish heap that the
lucid person sifts through in search of such people, and the moment they are
extracted from it, the cesspool itself is burned and destroyed. After all, to
find diamonds, one must be a good miner—blowing up the cave with dynamite to
open space for them.
―
Atrona Grizel
When the world
weighs too heavily on me, I flee to space and start concerning myself with the
troubles of the universe. I abandon the question “Why are people like this?” as
too small and move on to “Why and how does everything exist?” After a while,
that too becomes too much, and I escape back to Earth to deal with the woes of
civilization. Naturally, I postpone the question “Is it the universe or this
universe?” and turn instead to “What is the origin of social assimilation?” My
mind drifts back and forth like this, from the planet to the existence and from
the existence to the planet, because there’s nowhere I truly belong; I exist on
the threshold, simply passing through.
―
Atrona Grizel
I dream of only
one thing: revolution without rebellion, refusal without resentment.
―
Atrona Grizel
In this society I
am born into, people use words derived from English, sprinkles expressions of
foreign origin into their speech, talks in the slang born from Western culture
on social media—and despite that, they still call themselves nationalists.
They’ve grown so accustomed to this cultural assimilation that they don’t even
notice anymore. But nationalism rarely has much to do with the military, the
economy, or technology. The whole matter, at its core, lies in values—which
includes communication and perception—because whoever dominates these has
already brought the others under control.
―
Atrona Grizel
Those who see
mechanization as “fitting in” are too many.
―
Atrona Grizel
Even though I
have always been subjected to misunderstanding, disregard, and lovelessness, I
have no kind of “proof” that society would accept. Nothing physical has
happened, and everyone already sees me as the source of all these things—thus
they blame me. According to them, if I am misunderstood, it’s because I have not
made myself “understandable.” If I am disrespected, it’s because I have “failed
to fulfill my duties.” And if I am unloved, it’s because I “carry a heart of
stone that knows neither how to love nor be loved.” Those who hold
social—though not intellectual—authority will naturally believe the word of a
hundred people rather than one, purely by force of number. And so that one
person—me—when I express my feelings, will be made to feel as though I invented
them myself, that they exist only in my mind. Thus they will label me
“delusional” and send me off for “treatment.” It’s like saying—and treating it
as though—“The Holocaust was committed by the Jews themselves.”
―
Atrona Grizel
Platforms are
built to flatten individuals into categories: “Introvert.” “Neurodivergent.”
“INTJ.” “Psycho.” “Empath.” “Misfit.” “Nerd.” “Survivor.” “Bookworm.” And so
on. From the outset, they are already willing—driven by that very weakness that
has enslaved humanity. Naturally, even the most “radical” among them can be
effortlessly classified, often under terms like “rebel” or “anarchist.” Once
people start to believe in these categories, their imagination becomes
domesticated. Since capitalism doesn’t only shape lives but also identities,
they begin to critique themselves using the system’s own logic—feeling guilt
for not being “productive,” frustration for not being “attractive,” or shame
for not being “confident and sociable.” People choose a role to play, as if on
a stage—or one is assigned to them—and they perform it. Each carries within
their mind an idealized identity, and each endlessly rehearses it. All of them
cry out, “I want to exist,” and it is this very cry that causes them to cease
to exist. They search for “matching,” yet any kind of space that attracts only
a certain type—whether it be the “religious” one, the “melancholic” one, or the
“intellectual” one—will always, eventually, become a marketplace of selves.
Modern culture, in its desperation for validation, has sterilized all
innovation; dating is a checklist, friendship is a series of performed
affirmations. Everyone is “relatable,” and thus, no one is real. Once the
entire species has mastered acting, all that will remain is a distant, static
dream, where only abandoned, empty bodies that are pleased with their situation
wander around for eternity.
―
Atrona Grizel
Someone who
exposes their purpose imprisons themselves within it, just as those who declare
their goals become slaves to the goals they declare.
―
Atrona Grizel
The ignorant do
not feel discomfort from the ignorance of the ignorant. They are happy among
themselves, in an inflexible mutual illusion. Not merely a “lack of knowledge,”
but a collective fortress.
―
Atrona Grizel
To exist in any
physical space feels like comedy to me. The school is comic. The market is
comic. The hospital is comic. The church is comic. Every other place one could
think of—comic. Even the planet itself. Because I do not enter these places
with my body but attend them from the void of space. Once viewed from such a
distance, all “absolute” things lose their seriousness.
―
Atrona Grizel
I feel as if the
mere fact of my existence is an insult to everyone else’s existence, and the
mere fact of everyone else’s existence is an insult to mine.
―
Atrona Grizel
Anarchists, by
inventing “anarchism” itself, have committed themselves to the very system they
claimed to want to destroy. For once a movement becomes an “-ism,” it becomes
an ideology. And once there is an ideology, there are schools, doctrines, and
hierarchies of thought.
― Atrona Grizel